I hate to pretend
I don’t miss you
amidst the harsh simmering alienation of silence,
where my eyes scream
to catch glimpses of images of you
carousing through my mind.
I hate to pretend
not to be haunted by your absence;
not to cling jealously to vanishing embers of your smiles
as I savour the effervescent sparkle of your eyes
that once brightened the empty rooms of my heart.
I hate to pretend
not to feel angry at powerlessness
at raucous paroxysms of loneliness,
which force dreams to populate voids
and banish emptiness lingering far too long.
I hate to pretend
we still have robust conversations,
joust in jest,
inveigle language,
tiptoe over words,
and scrutinize phrases for secret meanings;
while your tender laughter
lurked like gracious ghosts,
softening the walls in my heart.
I hate to pretend
you still sit across the table,
ask probing questions,
lounge effortlessly on my eyelids
and to nourish my imagination.
I hate to pretend
to be brave and feign strength;
to shore up the ramshackle scaffolds
erected around my brittle soul,
where battles to keep you alive falter;
while I observe my pain from a distance,
trudging forward like mercenary warriors – no questions asked.
I hate to pretend
that life is fair.
For, it is not.
It will not restore you
or repair my frayed heart.
But having pretended for so long,
I forgot how much I hate to pretend
17 thoughts on “I hate to pretend”
I have been accused if tiptoeing over words….
This, dear friend, tugs at the heart strings. It is so loaded and so unbelievably powerful, fuerte, puissant.
KP
Brilliantly done! It captures an aspect of life that is so pervasive but rarely ever acknowledged – pretense. It sometimes goes by other names – diplomacy, tact, discretion subtlety – but a little self examination would quite often reveal it as pretense. But it avoids many hurt feelings, fights and even war. As much as we hate it, imagine a world without some form of pretense.
Absolutely beautiful
“hate to pretend not to feel angry at powerlessness, at raucous paroxysms of loneliness which force dreams to populate voids and banish emptiness lingering far too long”
Incredibly powerful
Aaah Kevin this is absolutely beautuful.
Powerful. Profound. Intense. Beautiful.
Kevin – “I hate to pretend I don’t miss you”… “scrutinize phrases for secret meanings”
This is just beautiful, Kevin.
Deeply profound and incredibly intense.. Simply Superb!!
Beautiful…hate to pretend…don’t we all?
Thanks Kevin, you are the most perfect painter using words like colors are used in a impressionist masterpiece. You have the gift of creation in so many ways… Thank you!
Absolutely wonderful!
Powerful! I too hate to pretend…💯
Powerful expression through poetry. So many of us can relate through our different events in life. I can associate with my recent loss. So powerful this piece of art.
Congratulations Kevin! Thank you for sharing.
Interesting play of words, very impactful.
Love it.
Very masterfully done
Beautiful